I have seen the movie, so I unfortunately will not be able to promise a 100% spoiler free review, but fortunately that means I got to see the movie already. However, in an effort to please the clamouring Spoiler-Free Review crowd, I will offer this simple, shorter review, guaranteed spoiler free by a team of scienticians who have been working day and night on it since I finished seeing the movie about 10 hours ago:
BEGIN SPOILER FREE REVIEW.
As you are currently reading this review, it is clear that you are not currently watching this movie. Or you are reading on your phone during a movie at a theatre. Both of these mean you are making bad life choices, as you could be both seeing the movie AND not being a horribly inconsiderate person, AT THE SAME TIME. Rectify this! See the movie, with your phone, tablet, laptop, desktop-on-a-trolley properly stowed and deactivated!
END SPOILER FREE REVIEW
BEGIN SPOILER-LADEN REVIEW
Luke, the son of Darth Vader (who doesn't like sand) and sister to Leia, knew that the protagonist had been dead all along, so he picked up Rosebud -- a sled of some import -- and watched as Snape killed...
END SPOILER-LADEN REVIEW
BEGIN BLACK PANTHER REVIEW
So, Black Panther is a movie about a man who is also a black panther. He never turns into a black panther, although his father turns BACK from being a black panther, in the Wakandan afterlife that as far as we can tell is only for those who have royal blood. Sorry, non-royals! Your afterlife is uncertain! At least during this movie!
Tragically, the majority of the movie is not an in depth exploration into the nuances of the Wakandan afterlife. We never see a comparative religious study that would indicate how the beliefs of the various peoples of Wakanda mingle, whether there are different practices amongst the different tribes, or any exploration into the intricate social structure that potentially provable religious practices might cause. In retrospect, I believe the movie was not actually a documentary but a blockbuster about superheroes that may have advertently included enough worldbuilding that the afrofuturist, uncolonized Wakanda seems a more nuanced setting than other movies set in wild, unbelievable locations like New Jersey.
If nothing else, this movie has proven that prophetic naming is still alive in the Marvel Universe, as the man with an artificial arm's name is pronounced Claw, and the guy who kills lots of people is named Killmonger. I'm no nameologist, but I assume T'challa is a language-I-don't-know for "Panther, black" and Everett K. Ross means "Guy who played Bilbo" (insert Tolkien Minority joke here).
END BLACK PANTHER REVIEW
BEGIN REVIEW SUMMARY AWARDING 10/10:
In conclusion, sand-like nanites make for a surprisingly good display system. 10/10 will watch again.
END REVIEW SUMMARY AWARDING 10/10:
