Semblance as a game has one major fault: The developers didn't pay me anything to review it. They didn't even give me a free download code, or a foot rub, or a diamond-studded laptop to write my review on. I would have to say that in general, the game community has been incredibly bad at offering bribes to my most-awesome blog, which was rated 10/10 as the most serious, most objective, and most review blog that ever existed.
But this didn't bother them, so they made a game where you play as a little blob thing that tries to collect things, in a two-dimensional puzzle platformer, with an interesting gimmick where when you smash your head against stuff (you're essentially just a head, so that's pretty easy) instead of your head --
Wait, I think I have an opportunity for ... well.
Ahem.
In America, smashing head against wall moves head. In Soviet Russia, smashing head against wall moves wall!
I will now pause for laughter.
...
So you can bounce platforms up higher if you need higher platforms, or lower if you need to go through something, or side to side if you need to climb a wall, and there are lasers that are TOTALLY not out of place on an otherwise foresty/organic world design, along with deadly fireflies that carry light-sabres that cause the world to reset, and bits of america so when you smash against them you get taller, just like in real life.
I must also credit the game, that when I was thinking "Well, they've about entirely explored this possibility space" the game started its final sequence, that did a few slightly different things and then ended. It's nice to have a game not overstay its welcome.
Also, I got to make a Yakov Smirnoff-style joke which clearly was hilarious and not dated at all. 10/10 to both the game and the joke format. What a country!
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
My Review: A Hat In Time
In an effort to review games in a more timely manner and also occasionally update this blog, I picked up a copy of A Hat in Time, which I got for essentially free because it was part of Humble Bundle Monthly, and while I consciously know that I'm paying for it every month I don't actively hand money over when I get the games, and thus it feels like I'm getting the games for free which is good because usually I either own all the games already or don't own them for reasons.
But I didn't own A Hat in Time, and now I have played it. I have technically beaten it, in the sense that I got the credits to roll and not in the sense that I exhausted the available content.
A Hat in Time is a game about Hat Girl and her efforts to help or hinder Moustache Girl in her crusade against the mafia men of Mafia Town, plus get some magic trinkets that give magic powers to basically everyone EXCEPT Hat Girl. There is also a haunted forest, a potentially-haunted mountain range, and a movie studio where no one ever discusses whether it's haunted or not. You have the ability to double jump, which is a standard feature of collect-the-stuff games even though I've only been able to do it twice in real life. You can also change what hat you're wearing, or what pins you have attached to the hat, and you can get a hookshot because any game with a hookshot is BY DEFAULT better than any other game. (I don't make the rules, the Hookshot Marketing board makes the rules)
Basically, if you want a game that plays like Super Mario Odyssey on a budget but by funnier people, this is probably the game you want. Plus, mods, which I haven't actually looked at but like all PC-owners nodded in satisfaction when I found out that they existed.
In conclusion, the boss fights were really fun and generally adapted as you played them so after you mastered a stage of the fight, it'd skip past it quicker so you could get to the next stage faster. 10/10
But I didn't own A Hat in Time, and now I have played it. I have technically beaten it, in the sense that I got the credits to roll and not in the sense that I exhausted the available content.
A Hat in Time is a game about Hat Girl and her efforts to help or hinder Moustache Girl in her crusade against the mafia men of Mafia Town, plus get some magic trinkets that give magic powers to basically everyone EXCEPT Hat Girl. There is also a haunted forest, a potentially-haunted mountain range, and a movie studio where no one ever discusses whether it's haunted or not. You have the ability to double jump, which is a standard feature of collect-the-stuff games even though I've only been able to do it twice in real life. You can also change what hat you're wearing, or what pins you have attached to the hat, and you can get a hookshot because any game with a hookshot is BY DEFAULT better than any other game. (I don't make the rules, the Hookshot Marketing board makes the rules)
Basically, if you want a game that plays like Super Mario Odyssey on a budget but by funnier people, this is probably the game you want. Plus, mods, which I haven't actually looked at but like all PC-owners nodded in satisfaction when I found out that they existed.
In conclusion, the boss fights were really fun and generally adapted as you played them so after you mastered a stage of the fight, it'd skip past it quicker so you could get to the next stage faster. 10/10
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