Okay, so, this review will TRY to be spoiler free, but since I've actually seen the movie, I can't promise anything. The truth will out! I'll do my best, but I'm sure subconscious thoughts might sink in and come out at the worst possible times. So be wary!
A lot of people were scared about this movie before it came out, due to fears that it would murder their childhood. Now, personally my childhood was already murdered by clowns and country-rap fusion, so I didn't have much to fear but for those who somehow got through life with their childhood intact, I can see why they would be worried. But don't worry! It only murders your childhood a little, and only that if you are personally deeply opposed to seeing a ghost pilgrim fed into a woodchipper. Which, spoilers, doesn't happen. But it MIGHT have.
There are basically three problems with the film. One, it felt like it had been severely edited, and some plots were resolved that never started and others were started but never resolved. This wasn't a huge problem, but made for some odd moments where you were reaching the climax of a personal arc that hadn't really started? I'm sure that the Director's Cut edition will include a big argument scene that would have made certain story beats make much more sense, but the flow still works regardless.
Two, there was a fight scene that made me want to play the inevitable video game spinoff, but felt like they took some time off to make a commercial for the inevitable video game spinoff, which let me say again looks like it will be a pretty fun inevitable video game spinoff but I was there to watch a movie, not a commercial. (Unlike the Lego Movie, where I was there to watch a commercial but ended up watching an excellent movie instead, or the Ghostbusters video game, where I was there to play a game and then did.)
Three, sometimes the camera is not pointed at Holtzmann, and every moment the camera was not capturing Holtzmann was wasted. I realize it would make filming some of the scenes more difficult, but I've headcanoned it as her hiding behind furniture every time she's not visible, and it makes the movie at least 20% better.
Still, there were ghosts, and they were busted, and bustin' makes me feel good. Ten out of Snape kills Dumbledore.
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